CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 3

Volume 2 - Issue 3 - March 7, 2007


GREAT GOOGALY MOOGALY………THE VERDICT IS IN
The good folks on the jury just didn’t buy that story ol’ Scooter was trying to sell them…..what a shame. Now Scoot’s going to file an appeal because he is so, soooooooooo innocent. Prediction: Bush will pardon him. That’s OK, because if he accepts a pardon, he is telling everybody, “Yup, I did it alright, I‘m as guilty as sin." It would stand to reason that if he insists he is innocent, he wouldn’t accept the pardon……….yea, right.

"A liar should have a good memory."

--- Quintilian, De Institutione Oratoria

NOT WANTED.........DEAD OR ALIVE
What is wrong with this woman? (I use the term woman loosely in her case). I want to know why her wife lets her out on the unsuspecting public? What kind of parents raise this kind of a person? (again, I use the term person loosely in her case). She has a law degree, why doesn’t she use it? She purports to support family values…so why isn’t she married and have kids?…… it’s because she can’t cut the mustard. Why does she have a wife? Why doesn’t she get that Adam’s apple fixed? CPAC knew exactly what it was doing when they invited her once again to their little conflab (they invite her every year). They laughed at her lame attempt to make a joke…….these people do not know what is funny, please leave it up to the professional comics will ya? Why the Republican party would want her to be their poster child is baffeling to me. Soon, whenever people think of the RNC they will think of her....is that what Republican's want? The only reason I can think of as to why she called John Edwards the “F” word is because she’s got the hots for him and he won’t return her calls. Edward’s has got a great wife, Elizabeth, and I don’t think Ann stands a chance. Will somebody please tell Ann that Rush is still available. I think maybe Rush wouldn’t want her bony butt now. Wouldn’t it be great to see Ann play the part that Elizabeth Taylor played in The Taming of the Shrew opposite Richard Burton? Sir Richard would certainly make a woman out of her or die trying, but at this point I don’t think Ann could get laid in a room full of rapists.

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
--- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

SHAME ON WALTER REED
If you haven’t had a gut full of the Bush administration by now, this should do it. This is certainly symptomatic of the administration’s poor planning on every level when going to war. I would hope future leaders and future president’s would study “How Not to Plan, Execute and Follow Through When Going to War….The Folly of George Bush” that will surely be written by some clever person some day. If you have a veteran in your family, please let your Senator or Congressman know you will absolutely not put up with this kind of crapp.

"...to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, ..."

--- President Abraham Lincoln, Second Inaugural Address

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 2

Volume 2 - Issue 2 - February 14, 2007

WILL THE REAL GEORGE BUSH PLEASE STAND UP
For those of you old enough to remember, there used to be a TV show called “What’s My Line”. For those of you not that old, three people would claim to be the person that had done things like being a fireman who saved 10 people from a burning building in Philadelphia or claiming to be the woman who invented White-Out. A distinguished panel of four persons would ask questions of the three people to try to figure out who was the real person and who the two imposter’s were. At the end of the show the panelists would present a card with number 1, 2 or 3 on it to indicate who they thought the real person was. Trying to figure out who is the real George Bush is kind of like playing “What’s my Line”.
So far, during Bush’s presidency, he has been compared by his spinners to Lincoln, Truman, Reagan, not one but both Roosevelts and Churchill……….none of which he really reminds me of…………so, I ask again, who is the real George Bush? Maybe if he spent more time, and his spinners spent more time trying to get him to explain his real self and quit the multiple personality game, he wouldn’t and we wouldn’t be in this mess. I can’t say that I blame him for wanting to be someone else if I were him either.
For the most part, Bush has let his presidency be defined by polls, pundants, spinners and a very unpopular war. To quote a NEWSWEEK poll conducted January 24-25, “Bush’s approval ratings are in the toilet at 30%, and more than half the country (58%) say they wish the Bush presidency were simply over.” That simply astounds me………that most citizens just would rather see him go away. Even 21% of registered republicans thinks he should just go bye-bye. I know what this says of Bush……..but what does it say about us? It says we are in a pretty pissy mood and we want it to be over, and we want him to be over. It’s pretty bad when the American people are in such a state of mind that if our president went missing…………we wouldn’t miss him and we wouldn’t send out a search party to find him.

“Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president.”
--- Theodore Roosevelt

SCOOTER AND SHOOTER
The Scooter Libby trial is shaping up to be one of the most interesting things on the national scene these days. Such intrigue should not be passed by. Lets face it folks…..we all know who is behind this and the one that has been on a drunken power surge since he got into office...Cheney. It is so obvious to anyone who has two brain cells to rub together that he is the problem and he should be gotten rid of.

VFW SAYS THANK YOU
I have been given a message from the VFW’s Bob Stimatze to thank each and every one who donated tables and chairs to the VFW. It is deeply appreciated.

“I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth.“
--- Molly Ivins

MOLLY IVINS
I will miss Molly. Molly was the canary in the coal mine warning us of what we were gonna get with “shrub” in the white house. She was right……she was right about a lot of things. I am sad to see that she won’t be around when the final curtain comes down on this dog and pony show…….because I have a feeling that what she wrote in the past will turn out just like she said. The next time a conservative gets his ass kicked, Molly gets her wings.

NOW WHAT?
If Anna Nicole Smith can collapse and die……….I wonder why the same can’t happen to Dick Cheney. There just isn’t any justice in the world. I am not dissing Anna Nicole, the woman had her share of problems and tragedy. Maybe it was just too much for her. On the other hand, some of her problems were brought on by her own need to be in the spotlight…..I don’t fault her for wanting to be rich and famous, but it makes me wonder sometimes why we have people on the planet like that. Are they here to teach us something? Like…. maybe how not to behave or how not to live? Or maybe they are here to show us how to behave or to live…..or are they here just for our entertainment and amusement? I don’t have the answer to that question, but life in these United States gets more bizarre every day.

DIZZY...........I'M SO DIZZY.........MY HEAD IS SPINNIN.....LIKE A WHIRLPOOL....IT NEVER ENDS........YOUR MAKIN ME DIZZY.........!!!!!!!!!!!
This whole mess in the press and in Washington is just spinning out of control. You've got the Libby trial, the spoiled intelligence from DOD and the pentagon, dubya and shooter beating the war drums again.....only this time for Iran, senate and congressional investigations on the horizon, more indictments of Bush cronies, Dusty Foggo and Brent Wilkes, confessions from the guy who cooked the books on the intelligence about Iraq, former undersecretary of defense Douglas Feith............they are just lettin it all hang out there aren't they? Ya know if you come on national tv and you are telling on yourself..............why haven't these guys been arrested?....oh no.......they are on tv trying to justify why they did what they did and they are getting away with it...........will somebody do something.........please!!! There are certain people who they should ban from tv shows all together. Here's my list: Pat Buchannan, William Donahue, Ann Coulter, Bill Kristol and Donald Trump.........these are the most offensive piles of human waste I have ever had to listen to...nobody should have to hear them.

"We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we're for them and trying to get them out of there. "
--- Molly Ivins, from her last column, January 11, 2007

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 1

Volume 2 - Issue 1 - January 25, 2007


SAME SONG…….SEVENTH VERSE
The new year has arrived with basically more of the same for this small planet we call home……….it’s like deja’ vue…..I always hope that with the changing of the calendar from December to January we will be able to start anew, but the powers that be just seem to like feeding us more of the same garbage and we keep lapping it up. I will say that January has given us some interesting events, plot twists and turns……all the stuff that a good whodunit needs………..let the year begin! Welcome to 2007!

WHAT DO WE WANT?……JUSTICE…WHEN DO WE WANT IT……NOW!!
The firing of the county road supervisor (which was long overdue) has made headlines………the case has been investigated and charges it would seem are about to brought……but wait………now the county attorney has resigned. Now what? Justice is sure getting delayed here. Let’s just hope that justice will be served. Each and every one of the citizens of this county was robbed and I think that each and every one of the citizens of this county deserves to see some justice. Taxpayers are tired of this kind of thing, and for once I would like for those in power to take into consideration how we feel. I don’t like being ripped off…….and I don’t think you do either. Let’s make sure our elected officials provide the oversight desperately needed to prevent this from happening in the future.

“If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.”
--- James Madison

BETWEEN IRAQ AND A HARD PLACE
Ok………my head is spinnin about this one. So much information and so little time to make any sense of it. The prez calls it a “surge” and Condi calls it an “augmentation”. I did pretty well in school when it came to English, but neither one of these words truthfully describes what the prez is proposing in regards to sending 22,000 more troops to Iraq. “The Surge” sounds like we intend to electrocute the insurgents…….maybe that is the intention? Augmentation………are we giving them boob jobs?…..as in breast augmentation? Whatever the administration is trying to sell this time can only be described as a bad idea. Makes me wonder what they’re smoking. What irritates me is that we are pulling a brigade of our troops out of Afghanistan and shipping them to Iraq for “the surge”. It is believed by most military experts that this is not a good move due to the fact that the Taliban and Al Queda forces are expected to mount a very large offensive against the US and UN troops this spring. Everyone is worried about Iraq, but if we don’t get our ducks in a row in Afghanistan…….we are gonna loose it. The ones we ran out of there are coming back in full force….the country is a mess………and the press really doesn’t talk about it much. The shuffling of personnel and staff in Iraq and in the administration tell me only one thing……..we ain’t seen nothing yet………and it probably won’t be pretty. To quote Stephen Colbert on Bush; “He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday.” I couldn’t have said it better. I do not have trust in this president and I do not have the faith that he will do the right thing, based mostly on his past performance. I don’t think the prez thinks about anything he does and that’s why he’s jumping from the fire to the frying pan on a daily basis. His insistence to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results each time is what Albert Einstein defined as insanity. This is Bush’s last drink at the Last Chance Saloon….if this goes south, Bush will have to accept the consequences of his actions………. and sadly, so will we all.

“Without debate, without criticism, no administration and no country can succeed --- and no republic can survive.”
--- John F. Kennedy

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
I finally saw this movie. I don’t care if you like Al Gore or not…..it’s worth seeing. No matter what the Nero’s of this country say……..this is a problem and we need people to start understanding and taking stock of what we are doing here. This is our only home………where we gonna go if we destroy it? Those chickens always come home to roost.

KEITH IS DA MAN!!!
I am a big fan of Keith Olbermann. In his series of Special Comments on his show Countdown he talks to this president as he should be talked to, and more often than not takes him to the woodshed. Not that this president will listen……..at least Keith is attempting to hold his feet to the fire. It’s unfortunate that the rest of the fourth estate doesn’t follow suit.

THE POLITICS IN YOUR OWN BACK YARD ARE OFTEN THE MOST INTERESTING
The word on the street and the word from the horses mouth have informed me that Bob Stimatze will be running for city council. I for one am feeling very good about this and I think having persons on the council that are business oriented and have a view of what the real world is like will be an asset. Congrats for running Bob.

DID I MISS ANYTHING TUESDAY NIGHT?
Unfortunately I was working Tuesday night, but I have managed to catch the highlights of the SOTU speech on TV and on the internet…….sort of like catching the highlights of a game on ESPN that I just didn’t have the attention span to watch………I will not go into any lengthy breakdown of what I heard………but these are some things that I observed and they don’t necessarily have anything to do with what was said. House member Michele Bachmann (R-MN) had a death grip on Bush when he was signing autographs after the speech……..she just wouldn’t let go of him. Secretary of State Rice looked as if she hadn’t had any sleep or she had taken too many Paxil….she really looked like a person who didn’t want to be there. Vice President Cheney looked the same as he always does…….just setting there like a stuffed and mounted version of himself and probably thinking of how he’s going to lie under oath at the Scooter Libby trial. Nancy Pelosi blinks a lot…..might I suggest some natural tears for dry eye? We heard the same old song about Iraq and some verses on topics this president doesn’t talk about much……like health care, reducing gas consumption, you know domestic issues. What he didn’t say interests me more………not a single solitary word about the Gulf coast and the continued clean up and reconstruction from the damage caused by hurricane Katrina………maybe he forgot. The body language of everyone present in that chamber was mighty interesting. I am surprised that Laura Bush didn’t have Barney with her, because the president said he was going to stay the course even if Laura and his dog Barney we’re the only ones left standing beside him………uh Mr. President…….I think we have reached that point.

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 11

Volume 1 - Issue 11 - December 8, 2006

THE STUDY GROUP HAS CONCLUDED.......BUT WASN'T THE TEST MORE THAN THREE YEARS AGO?
The Iraq Study Group has finally made their report public. Now we get to see just how pathetic the situation in Iraq really is, and how fearless leader will handle the criticism. My guess it will not be handled well. Rove has driven the point home to Mr. Bush over the years that any legacy he wishes to have after the presidency will be based on his unrelenting desire to never change his course.......(Karl has made a point of studying the presidency and says all great presidents with great legacy's never strayed from their course.) That might be true, but most it seems, started out on the right foot........not the wrong one.

STILL LAUGHING.......
The stable is getting full of GOP possible presidential candidates for 08. The most interesting of these is Newt (I fooled around too) Gingrich, Duncan (Who?) Hunter and last but not least, our own wingnut Sam (Where's my Cheeto's and Coke) Brownback. As soon as I stop laughing about these guys running for president I'll get back to you.

CONSERVATIVES UPSET BY TURKEY BASTING CONCEPTION
I find it interesting that the conservatives who lambasted John Kerry back in 04 about his statement regarding DICK Cheney's gay daughter are now lambasting her for being pregnant.
Do they suggest an abortion?........I think not. Wonder what old DICK really thinks? I don't have a problem with her having children, but I think it's much more helpful to the world to adopt a child under these circumstances. A child that does not have ANY home would be better off in a home regardless of the sexual preference of the parents, if that home was loving and nurturing to that child. Why Mary Cheney would work on behalf of these nasty people is still a mystery to me.

GOODBYE TO 06......I'M NOT GONNA MISS YOU
This will probably be the last issue of good old 2006........unless something really spectacular happens before the end is out. I must take a break........it's the holidays you know......we all need a break and some good news once in a while. It's been one of the most trying years for me personally, and I am not sad to see it drift into history. I look forward to a less stressful and more productive 2007. I wish nothing but insanely good things to happen for you all in the coming new year.

SEASONS GREETINGS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!
(We must be politically correct you know)

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 10

Volume 1 - Issue 10 - November 26, 2006

TO THE BLOG FROM THE HARD COPY
I will no longer be depositing hard copies of Cranky In The Middle (CIMT) at local establishments. I have had a blog since June of this year, and ignored it when I started publishing the hard copies in July. I am going back to the blog and will be posting there.......so all of you savvy computer geeks can read it here. I want to thank everyone who supported the hard copy issues, I think the dragon has been slain......at least I hope so......I haven't heard any carping about the liquor store.

WANTED: EX CONGRESSMAN AND/OR SENATOR NEEDS JOB
It has come to my attention that some here in town may not be too crazy about how the mid term elections have come out......well boo hoo........get over it. In my opinion, some of the crazy and most divisive people have been turned out.......good riddence!
In our own state, Jim (speaks in tongues) Ryan finally got cut loose. Maybe he should have been speaking English when talking to his constituents instead of speaking in tongues.
Closer to home, I was disappointed that Mitch Holmes got re-elected, he basically based his entire campaing on big fat lies........claiming credit for something that was already in the works when he was elected the first time around. Well, he gets his pension.......that's all he really wanted anyway. He doesn't sweat enough to call what he does working. See you in two years Mitch.......better clean up that act.
Stafford has once again put their money on someone not from the area. Stafford is famous for letting any old snake oil salesman take them down the primrose path......then incessantly whining about how they were done wrong.......nice going Stafford. Staffordites were promised that the rest of the county was going to pay for the hospital at Stafford. Well, since the State of Kansas decides those kinds of things....... and not county commissioners.......good luck, because it's not going to happen.....but I'm sure that we will be reading about how this should be done ad nauseum in the county commissioners minutes that we read in the paper. Yes, I know taxes have gone up in Stafford, but that might be due to the fact that they built a new high school more than the hospital situation........ya think? Maybe the commissioners should focus their time on oversight of county departments.......they seem to be lacking in that area.

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
The current election cycle is over, now we get to gear up for the next one in 08. I hope they give us all some breathing room before it starts up again.There are just two words I do not want to hear during this next election cycle…………… UNDECIDED VOTER.I got so irritated with pandering to these so called undecided voters in 04. They were the geeky girl at school who gets wooed by the captain of the football team on a dare by his teammates, only to be dumped the night before he was supposed to take her to the prom…..sounds like another teen movie.You know, if you spend months hearing about who the candidates are and what they are saying, and the night before the election you still don’t know……..stay home. These folks must get up every morning not knowing who they are unless somebody tells them. How they accomplish anything is beyond me.It’s not up to the talking heads on TV to inform you, there are lots of other sources to inform yourself…after all it’s your responsibility to get informed. We need an informed electorate, not an undecided electorate.

THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS
In honor of the 143rd anniversary of the Gettysburg Address (November 19), which in my opinion is the greatest speech ever given by a President of the United States….. I urge you to give another look at this eloquent and to the point speech that says more in one page about our Civil War than the subsequent volumes ever written about it. It’s a good read.

"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward".
--- Franklin D. Roosevelt---

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 9

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 9 - November10, 2006

RELEASE THE HOUNDS---OWWWWWW!
If you remember your history……..yea, I realize most of you slept through the class, you will remember the Reign of Terror, as it was called…….and for good reason, during the French Revolution.
I know, I know……we American’s seem to have a resentment of a sort against the French………I say get over it, besides French toast was not invented by the French.
When the USA staged their little rebellion over grievances with King George, the French helped a little……they were a midwife so to speak, and without their assistance we probably would be having tea and crumpets, curtsying and giving bows to the queen.
They got the idea for their revolution from our revolution, only they went over to the dark side, just a bit….chopping everybody’s head off no matter what. Our revolution was a picnic compared to theirs.
As the results of our midterm elections become clearer, let’s hope we can be just a smidgen more restrained than the French were when dealing with the minority that was formally the majority. I really like to see a good old butt kicking once in a while, when it’s deserved, but not a blood bath. This country’s got a lot bigger fish to fry……….we can fry the minnows at our leisure.

“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” --- Indira Gandhi

WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW….WE’RE FOOTING THE BILL
Sergeant Friday always said, “Just the facts, ma’am”. I generally don’t want to know the subplot, just the meat and taters, but you can’t ignore the not so distant rumblings and wonder if the local folk are getting a little restless about the 800 lb. gorilla setting in their living rooms.
It has been said that a rising tide lifts all boats………the majority of people feel like their boat is at Kanopolis. Could it be we’ve been let down again by those we trusted?
We all know there would be less trouble, if those elected just did their flippin jobs…its not rocket science, but I’m beginning to think its mental illness. Approximately 37% of the American population has some form of mental illness……our president’s approval ratings are 37%……..coincidence? You tell me.
Scandal is never pretty, but it’s all around us, on EVERY level of government, and I am sure when the perverbial ka-ka hit’s the fan……..we’ll find out….patience grasshopper.

“To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” --- Elbert Hubbard

MORE NEWS ABOUT MY FAVORITE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON
I was amused to read that Reuters editor, Joe Maguire was fired after Reuters read the galley’s of his book entitled, Brainless: The Lies and Lunacy of Ann Coulter.
Maguire’s bosses at Reuters gave the OK for him to write the book and even knew what the title was…what kind of a book did they expect?
Maguire, wrote his book in response to Coulter’s book, Godless: The Church of Liberalism. That’s the book where she takes the 9/11 widow’s to task for being happy that their husband’s are dead.
Another book out there called Soul-Less, (can’t remember the full title), written by another person, takes Ann to task for being a soul-less, heartless grinch.
I’m sure before it’s over, we’re going to see other books about Ann with titles called; Clueless, Spineless, Blond-Less, Childless, Husbandless, Boob-Less, etc. It’s on it’s way to becoming the next Nancy Drew series.

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”
--- Albert Einstein

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
The wild and crazy antics exhibited by Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Ma-mood Ahh-ma-deen-a-jawd), (I just love hearing people on TV trying to pronounce his name), have got to make you wonder what’s in the water over there… and wonder who makes those suits he wears. I personally think he’s crazier than a bed bug, but it could be that he’s got the guts of a government mule because Halliburton’s off- shore operations in the Cayman Islands have been selling Iran the stuff that nuclear dreams are made of for years now. That’s not right or ethical ………..but it is perfectly legal.

FYI
The American Society of Civil Engineers last year graded the nation a “D” for its overall infrastructure conditions, estimating that it would take 1.6 trillion dollars over five years to fix the problem.

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have these three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience and the prudence to practice neither.”
--- Mark Twain

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 8

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 8 - October 31, 2006

SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE?
Once again the prez and Karl have done an amazing thing. They managed to get the five most popular conservative talk radio show gasbags to air a conflab to preach to the sheep. I don’t think much of talk radio, or talking on the radio in general, unless it‘s info I can use, like telling me about severe weather. Monotonous voices cause car accidents. When my radio is on, its got music playing, not some boring droid from the planet Nutyap chanting talking points over and over again like a Buddhist monk……………. ………………………………..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

DO YOU SMELL SOMETHING FUNNY?
In the new movie “Man of the Year”, Robin Williams’ character has a very good line. He says that, “politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often………for the same reason.”

“Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and this is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear.”
--- Harry S. Truman

I THINK I’M GOING TO BE IL
What is it with this Kim Jong Il dude? He’s short, he’s chubby, has a bad haircut, wears Jackie-O sunglasses, shoe lifts and his wardrobe is an absolute disaster (he‘s only missing a pink feather boa and stiletto heels). Who does he think he is? Elvis? Liberace? Elton John? Take your pick, it’s multiple choice.
Sending Condi Rice to the region to deal with him is just beyond a bad idea, she’ll only end up entertaining him by playing show tunes on the piano.

“To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.”
--- Thomas Paine

KEANU AND SANDRA ARE NOT IN THIS VERSION OF SPEED
We’re coming up on the midterm elections. This year they are as important as a midterm election has ever possibly been in our entire history. This year we need to vote like our lives depend on it………….because they do.
We’re on a speeding bus, driven by people who don’t know how to drive, and it’s headed for a cliff. I’m getting off the bus.

A BRAIN IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE
No one seems to be more ignorant on more subjects than Rush Limbaugh………..unless it’s Ann Coulter. Rush seems to have this whole Parkinson’s thing figured out……that person’s with Parkinson’s are acting or not taking their medicine.
In a nutshell, Parkinson’s happens when specific cells in the brain that make a chemical called dopamine malfunction and die…hence no dopamine…hence no info to parts of the brain that control movement and coordination. Messages from the brain tell our bodies how and when to move are delivered more slowly, leaving a person unable to initiate and control movements.
The most common drug for this disease is Sinemet, but with increased dosing and prolonged use of the medicine the side effects are usually spontaneous, involuntary movements and periods when the medicine just starts or stops working. If patients do not take the medicine…….they simply do not move at all, they become immobile.
Rush knows a lot about Oxycontin (a narcotic) and Viagra (an ego booster), but I would have to see his MD, DO or RN license before he practices medicine or nursing and opens his big mouth again. In this day and age of the internet…there’s a ton of info to be found……..educate yourself Rush.

“The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.” --- Art Spander

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
The Military Commissions Act of 2006. Need I say more? I probably do, because this little gem that was signed by the president on October 17th has been almost completely ignored by the press and is going to have a far reaching impact on what you say or do, and is mostly based on the premise that if the prez is in a PMS mood and you catch his attention and he doesn’t like it……..off you go to GitMo. Didn’t we invade a country three and half years ago to get rid of a guy who acted just like that?
I don’t think many people realize that this Act applies to US citizens as well as non US citizens, and how it moves us closer to being a totalitarian state all in the name of the war on “terra.” Do we send good men and women to die to give up our rights? Goodbye to habeas corpus, it’s been nice to know you, unless the supreme court knocks it in the dirt, and there’s a 50/50 chance that justice Kennedy will blindly go along with this, just because the dictator loving, traitorous congress passed this totally un-American piece of crap. Baby, if you’re not outraged …………….then you’re not paying attention!

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 7

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 7 - October 16, 2006

THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES
I have really got to hand it to the Republicans….when they mess up…….they go for the gold. Truthfully, this is a sad state of affairs, and after almost 6 long years of this dog and pony show, I am undecided as to whether to laugh or cry about it. I do know that I am fustrated and disgusted about them………..to the max.
I could laugh, laughing makes us feel better, it realeases endorphins. I could say, “I told ya so.”………..I’m sure that there are many already doing that. The sad thing is I’m not surprised by what has happened………..not shocked at all………it’s even worse than I imagined…….and I’ve got a great imagination! You just can’t make this stuff up…….it’s been fun watching it unfold, in a train wreck sort of way………just fascinating.
The entire Bush administration, the House and the Senate leadership are like bad houseguests; they came for what I thought was a brief visit, ended up overstaying their welcome, ate all the food in the fridge, stunk up the bathroom, hogged the TV remote and treated the spouse and kids in a rude and insolent manner…..well, it’s my house and it’s time a well placed boot was delivered thusly in their backsides……….and I mean all of them!
These guys actually wonder why comedians are making fun of them?……they should drink some strong black coffee, get off the drugs or just look in the mirror sometime. Watching Denny Hastert come up with lamo excuses for this is both embarrassing and hysterical at the same time.
Would you put up with people coming to YOUR house and acting that way? I venture to guess, no you wouldn’t. Then why put up with these freak-a-zoids? They are in our house (The White House a/k/a the people’s house), they are in our city (Washington D.C. that is)…………they are polluting them, tarnishing them and trashing them and all the while people are, like well……..they can’t help it, but they are religious or they’ll get it right, just give them time………………or a million other excuses we the people make for their sorry butts. Most of us would be fired from our jobs if we performed as well as these yo-yo’s. Time for them to take a long walk on a short pier. It’s time we did like Captain Kirk when the cute little tribble’s multiplied on the Enterprise……open the hatch, shove them out into space and leave them on an uninhabited planet.

“Crime does not pay……….as well as politics.”
--- Alfred E. Newman

“The problem with people who have no vices is generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.”
--- Elizabeth Taylor

SATURDAY NIGHT…..SATURDAY NIGHT MY APOLOGIES TO THE BAY CITY ROLLERS
Last Saturday afternoon and evening, I ventured out of the house and ended up at the beer garden at the Stafford Octoberfest………imagine that! It was an absolutely perfect day, weather wise, the food was hot and the beer was cold……….as it should always be.
This was the first time I had been to the Octoberfest since 1985, the year it started. Yea, I know……..I’m from Stafford and I hadn’t been in over 20 years………so bite me.
I get to the beer garden, and lo and behold, at least half of St. John was there. I was a little confused, because I knew I had left St. John and went to Stafford on old 50 highway about an hour before, and I see a lot of people from St. John?………..oh well.
The place was full, everybody was chatting and discussion was abundant……some of it was very, very bizarre…………but…………..I digress…..people seemed to be having a good time…………….…some more than others, but everyone was on their best behavior. We had a few laughs, a few beers, some hotdogs and brats………saw a few people we hadn’t seen in a while……..had a good time. Sometimes the simple things in life are all you need to make a memorable day.

“Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what’s going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?”
--- Will Rogers

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
I am just enough jaded and cynical……after all, I’m a child of the 60’s, to wonder what’s going to happen next in Washington that screws it up for all of us around here…….the other shoe and/or shoes will surely drop and I just can’t wait to see who’s shoe the dog doo is on. I hope it’s not on my shoes……I just bought new ones.

“Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much of life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.”
--- Henry David Thoreau
1817 - 1862

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 6

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 6 - September 29, 2006

WOSSAMOTTA U?
When I was a kid, and even as a teenager, I was a huge fan of Rocky and Bullwinkle……….I never missed an episode. It was a very politically savvy cartoon and tied in well with the times at hand, mainly the cold war. (I do miss the cold war….at least you knew where you stood and you knew who the enemy was.) You had your good guys……Rocket J. Squirrel, Bullwinkle J. Moose, Dudley Do-Right and the ever so sweet Nell. Then there were the bad guys……….Snidely Whiplash, Boris Badenov, Natasha Fatale, Mr. Big and Fearless Leader.
Week after week the good guys always beat the bad guys……..and there was always that cliffhanger at the end of each episode.
Sometimes I think of today’s political climate (a really bad cartoon) and what goes on, or doesn’t go on in Washington D.C. in the context of Rocky and Bullwinkle. The bad guys are easy……..Rove is Snidely Whiplash, Rumsfeld is Boris Badenov, Condi is Natasha Fatale, Cheney is Mr. Big and of course, Bush is Fearless Leader. Finding the counterparts to the good guys is a little tougher………(and at this point I would feel better if Bullwinkle was president anyway.) I’m just waiting to see who will try to inspire us as a nation, get us on the right track and fill the shoes of those brave and true blue friends from Frostbite Falls Minnesota.

“We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.”
--- John F. Kennedy

“Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”
--- Author Unknown

“In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.”
--- John Adams

“Truth is not only violated by falsehood; it may be equally outraged by silence.”
--- Henri Frederic Amiel

“To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” (1918)
--- Theodore Roosevelt

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
If it looks by the quotes this week there is a theme here…….well I guess there is. Free speech, free thought, free to do whatever suits your fancy…….as long as it hurts no one and is legal. You’ve got Bush going ballistic over the fact that the NIE secret report leaked BY the government stated U.S. military actions in Iraq have made the terrorists stronger; and the so called great compromise on the torture bill that just passed……(more like a whitewash), congress bans torture, but Bush gets to define torture……..? First Mr. President, let me remind you, that the government you accuse of leaking that secret report….is YOUR government, the one that YOU have created. You want to blame somebody for leaking …..then blame yourself. Secondly Mr. President, I don’t think that anybody with the emotional maturity of a 16 year old boy has any business defining much of anything, let alone torture. Folks……….. this is your government on hormones! (My apologies to all 16 year old boys.)
The mood in this country is dismal, to say the least. That’s your fault Mr. President. You are expected to set the tone and the mood of this nation’s psyche, that’s part of your job. What do we get instead? An administration that does not tolerate even the slightest hint of dissatisfaction from its citizens and his constant carping on how he’s right and EVERYBODY else is wrong. It is disheartening and depressing……and reminds me of high school.
I am expected, as a citizen, to obey the laws, and I should be able to expect, hell I should demand, my government and this president to stay within the boundaries of power that the constitution gives them. And NO, you can’t just go changing the constitution because you don’t like the color of the paper it’s written on. I wonder if they understand “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”?

“Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us.”
--- William O. Douglas ---

IN REMEMBERANCE
This issue is dedicated to my Mom, who enjoyed my little newsletter. She was an ardent reader and was part inspiration for my endeavors……..who often reminded me… “to go get ’em”. Thanks Mom.

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 5

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 5 - August 29, 2006

OBSESSION…IT’S JUST NOT A FRAGRANCE FROM LIZ TAYLOR……..YOU CAN GET
PROFESSIONAL HELP FOR IT TOO
What’s the anti business attitude here lately? I think somebody has been watching too much of Oprah and her make-over shows……….. and now they are hell bent to make over the town in their own image. You know something?…..if it doesn’t suit you……. move. There are all kinds of silly things that everybody in town doesn’t like………you eventually learn to live with them…..or you don’t.
Being childlike, even when you are an adult can be a good thing. Being childish……that’s altogether a different kettle of fish, and it serves no purpose other than to torment your fellow man and cause them to walk across the street to avoid you when they see you.
The newly formed Citizens for Civic Service or the CCS (chronic constipation syndrome?………..nah), which by the way consisted of 6 cars at their last meeting, is doomed to failure.
Why you ask? Biting ankles gets you nothing but a swift kick to the side of the street like a yappy little dog and the reputation of being a nuisance. If you’re not interested in anything but bugging folks and pestering them….well, I guess your grandma wasn’t as smart as mine…..she always said you could catch more flies with honey than you could with vinegar.
Getting people to run for city council that have the same anti business stance?…..yea, I can see that happening…..………..on Mars perhaps. We need people with common sense…….that are interested in the common good of ALL citizens………not hypocrites.
Eliciting an opinion from the AG?…….well that’s just balderdash. He’s up for reelection………..he hasn’t got time to sweat the small stuff. My chances of winning the powerball jackpot are better.
Pushing the city council?……………is that like when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object? Yuck………I wouldn’t want to be on the crew that cleans up.

“Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.” --- George Bernard Shaw

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
I’ve been seeing a lot of articles in different newspapers and magazines in Kansas about water issues……..methinks there is something up with that, and we should all be paying close attention to who and what are buying up water rights, and for what dastardly purpose they intend to use those rights.

“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
--- Harlan Ellison

“Fundamentalism isn’t about religion. It’s about power.”
--- Salman Rushdie

PASS ME THE DRAMAMINE
I happened to catch the president on TV the other day giving one of his press conferences, which is something I seldom do because of the nausea that usually overwhelms me when he opens his mouth. He was telling a reporter that Iraq had nothing to do with the 9/11 attack’s here in the United States. Gosh………I’ll bet Dick Cheney and Karl Rove are spinning like Helen Keller at a pinata party over those remarks, because Cheney has said, and keeps saying that Iraq is linked to the 9/11 attacks. (Cheney also says a lot of other obtuse things…too many to mention in such a small space).
So, now we have the president, finally owning up to the fact that there were no WMD’s (I’ll bet Cheney had a heart palpitation over that statement too) and that Iraq had nothing to do with the 9/11 attack’s, and the vice president still saying just the opposite………what give’s here?
My guess is that the vice president just isn’t getting enough oxygen to his brain, and that causes severe confusion and a decreased mental status…..somebody slap some O2 on him STAT!!!!!

“Either war is obsolete or men are.”
--- R. Buckminster Fuller

“There’s nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes………….and dead armadillos.
--- Jim Hightower

THE OLD SWITCHEROO
I find it sooooo very interesting that some on the city council are taking such a great interest in ethics, so much so, that I’m inclined to think that it’s just another underhanded, sneaky, convoluted and twist the facts around way of coming in the back door of the liquor store issue. Sorry, I just don’t buy what they are saying……they will just have to change those talking points a bit, because under the bright glare of the high beams, the naked truth of what this is really all about comes shining through.

I’M GONNA MISS PLUTO
The International Astronomical Union that met in Prague last week has finally demoted the planet, formally known as Pluto………uh as a “dwarf” planet. Out of more than 10,000 professional astronomers in the world who were qualified to vote only 424 voted. (Reminds me of election time in the USA.) Pluto, Ceres, and UB313 are now considered “dwarf” planets. Some people want their MTV…….I want my Pluto!!!!

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”
--- Groucho Marx

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 4

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 4 - August 17, 2006

“A liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested. A conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged.” --- Wendy Kaminer

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW
Why is it that when I read the minutes of the city council meetings, I see the same story about a pig, only the pig is wearing a different shade of lipstick in each and every instance each time it is trotted out? (It’s the same pig…sheesh, I was born at night, but it wasn’t last night.)
I realize there are people who do have legitimate complaints, suggestions and maybe even a little praise that they would like to share with the city fathers.
The citizen’s comments section always bugs me. I seldom see any mention where a “concerned citizen” shows up in person to relay their thoughts to the council about the various and sundry inquiries (seems more like an inquisition) that seem to pepper these meetings. (With the exception of the liquor store). Where are these elusive “concerned citizens”? It seems like there are more comments than we have citizens.
If your upset about parking issues, car tags or somebody’s property, don’t be doing it on your bosses time, do it on your own time or go to work for the National Inquirer….……….why aren’t these “concerned citizens” showing up themselves to let the council know about it?

DIRTY DEEDS DONE DIRT CHEAP
It’s really twisted when a somebody has got to invade someone’s personal space or personal property to see if they are doing something that they don’t like…….that’s looking for trouble and asking for a can of whoop ass to be opened up. Like there isn’t already enough trouble in the world,,,,,,, people with nothing better to do HAVE to go looking for it? How far is far enough? A line has been crossed here.
The majority of folks do a pretty good job of getting themselves in hot water, they don’t need any help….thank you.
Taking leave of your senses, abandoning all common sense and reason and being a horses patoot………….is soooo over the line.

“My country, right or wrong”, is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying “My mother, drunk or sober.”
--- G. K. Chesterton

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
I would like to take this time to congratulate, and to thank the St. John News on it’s story about the liquor store in it’s August 9th paper. The editor did exactly what a newspaper should do. Faux News could learn a few things about fair and balanced from the new editor.

“The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”
--- Plato

CRACK A BOOK ONCE IN A WHILE
In Plato’s Republic, the argument is the search after justice. Socrates asks his students what justice is. One states that “justice is nothing but the power of the stronger“. Socrates defined justice as “working at that which he is naturally best suited, to do ones own business and not to be a busybody.”
Plato wrote this in 390 B.C., and it just goes to show you, good advice never grows obsolete.

MOM AND DAD WENT TO A VETO….AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS CRUMMY T-SHIRT
The president decided the stem cell bill was the bill to veto and lay claim to his glorious legacy, because he says, “every life is precious.” If that is what he truly believes, I would like the president and Sam Brownback, to take a trip to Iraq…….together, look the Iraqui people squarely in the eye, and say exactly the same thing to them.

“Who are you going to believe……me or your lying eyes?”
--- Groucho Marx

“Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.”
--- Author Unknown

IF I AM MY BROTHERS KEEPER, I SURE HOPE I DON’T HAVE TO KEEP ME
While at work one night, I was walking down the hall with another nurse. I kept hearing the annoying sound of a cell phone ringing. Actually it wasn’t ringing, it was playing Mozart. I said to this other nurse, “who’s flippin cell phone keeps ringing?” To my embarrassment, I suddenly realized, it was my own cell phone……………..duh! The other nurse just looked at me and started laughing hysterically, then I started laughing……we laughed the entire 12 hour shift. It was a pretty good way to work a 12 hour shift, I might add.
In my defense, I can only plead that my cell phone rings very seldom and that I am not used to hearing it.

“Abraham Lincoln did not go to Gettysburg having commissioned a poll to find out what would sell in Gettysburg. There were not people with percentages for him, cautioning him about this group or that group or what they found in exit polls a year earlier. When will we have the courage of Lincoln?”
--- Robert Coles

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 3

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 3 - August 10, 2006

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
--- Albert Einstein

SCAB PICKERS BEWARE
Just when you think that the liquor store issue is going to heal up a bit, somebody keeps picking that scab to lay open that wound. Look at how this tactic has worked for us in the Middle East….uh, not so well. When you pick a scab continually, it introduces more bacteria, causes unsightly scarring and after a while just hurts. Anybody got a bandaid?

TUBES…………THE NEW INTERNET?
United States Senator Ted Stevens, R -Alaska, describes the internet as “a series of tubes”. This geezer chairs the senate commerce committee that makes decisions about regulating the internet, and he doesn’t even know what the internet is!
Alaska should retire Ted, he’s a bozo and seems to be in a permanent state of brain freeze.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the universe.”
--- Albert Einstein

DON QUIXOTE’S GOT NOTHIN ON ME
How did this get started? I went back in the windmills of my mind and tried to sort this all out. I was reminded about remarks made by a city council person, referring to “that mess on the west side of town”. The remarks were probably not meant to be hurtful, but were. I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt…..just this once.
The location in question, was bought by a local businessman, and cleaned up at his own expense. (It saved the city a few bucks, that’s for sure.) Over the course of time, the transformation of that corner lot was a radical improvement. Maybe the time it took for clean up wasn’t timely enough for some people, but when you consider what it looked like before he started…………….Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Instead of an encouraging word or a pat on the back about the progress, oh no, this businessman got dissed in a very public way. Is this any way to keep businesses?
He didn’t have to locate his business here. He generates payroll, jobs and pays a boat load of taxes you probably never heard of. How can that be a bad thing? I guess it might be if you know absolutely nothing about running a business, and you’ve got your panties/boxers/briefs in a wad all the time. If I wore a hat it would be off to him. I think an apology is in order, and getting off his back would be an appropriate gesture.

“Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
--- Albert Einstein

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
About a month or so ago, I was persuaded to take a drive out to Spearville to see the wind farm under construction. I was tired, it was hot, and I didn’t really want to go, but being the good natured soul I am, I went to keep peace in the family, and I got to eat out………..that’s usually the deciding factor in these matters.
I was amazed and somewhat overwhelmed by these 60 foot towers that look like oversized pinwheels. Oddly enough, it was a thing of beauty.
Awesome is the only word to describe it, and it got me to thinking about where are we going to get our power and water in the coming years? Tom Friedman said that green is going to be the next red, white and blue. I think he’s right.
I would really like to see some discussion on this subject and see what the long term strategy for our city is. It’s never too late to be prepared.

“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves”.
--- Edward R. Murrow

HEY……YOU, GET OFF OF MY CLOUD
On these hot, muggy days, when a person is forced to work outside all or part of the time at their job, you can bet that it gets really old feeling like you have been reduced to a puddle of goo day after day. In fact, it makes people a little testy once in awhile…… imagine that?
When you see a rattlesnake…..leave it alone, don’t walk up and give it a kick and be surprised if it bites you………you deserved it.

“You do not lead by hitting people over the head --- that’s assault, not leadership.”
--- Dwight D. Eisenhower

LEGAL IS AS LEGAL DOES
Is backing into a parking space legal? I don’t know. It’s probably about as legal as parking in a diagonal parking space when you are in the south bound lane and you cut across the north bound lane of traffic to park on the east side of the street, a/k/a/ making a J turn.

“I’m conservative, but I’m not a nut about it.”
--- George H. W. Bush

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 2

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 2 - August 2, 2006

Ok…….HERE WE GO BEATING THAT DEAD HORSE AGAIN
I see the temperance union has had another meeting, at another church no less. (I wonder if the IRS would like to know about that?) I’m all for beating a dead horse once in awhile, but it seems deNILE isn’t just a river in Egypt.
This issue is moot, over, nada, done, and you can stick a fork in it, by all means. As for me, a liquor store in town concerns me about as much as constipation and toenail fungus. Who’s zooming who here? If you look at the BIG picture and the sorry state of the world …..a liquor store in our midst is the least of our problems, and stomping your foot like a two year old because you don’t get your way is not helping. The only thing worse than a snotty winner is a sore looser, and if given the choice to do it your way or the highway…..I choose the highway. Come on……don‘t take yourselves too seriously, and don’t promise the moon unless you plan to deliver the moon. Maybe some time spent repeating the Serenity Prayer would help?
On the day of the grand opening and ribbon cutting ceremony, I didn’t see any cracks in the earth open up and swallow the town, nor did I see the sky falling. (Henny Penny must have been out of town).
It’s going to be hard to court and woo prospective businesses in the future if you are anti business and treat businesses already established here in that manner. You can’t have it both ways. Let’s hang on to what we’ve got and try to expand it some more. That might require some of us to open our minds just a little bit more than we are used to doing. It also might require more than just whining about insignificant things that don’t amount to a hill of beans, and waste’s everybody’s time. (Might I suggest a NO WHINE ZONE at city council meetings?)
I just want to know when the other side of this issue is going to get some time at bat……..so far it’s been one sided, and far too many lame excuses have been given as to why the other side never gets to bat……..it‘s easy to win a debate when the opposition never gets to speak. So come on, let‘s have a level playing field and a little sympathy for the horse.

YES, ANY IDIOT WITH A COMPTER CAN PUBLISH
An acquaintance asked me the other day just what in the sam hill I was trying to do here. I simply explained to them that I have written many letters to the editor, didn’t like how they came out, never sent them in to the paper and decided this might be a better forum. They asked why I never sent my letters in to the paper and I stated that they probably would never have been printed due to the apparent unprofessional journalistic decisions that were made by the previous editor. That might be harsh, but that’s the way I feel about it…………… I’m old and cranky, so bite me!

IT MAKES ME FELL LIKE DANCING
I know, I know………..I’ve heard already….like about a million times…..the Rolling Stones are making an appearance in Wichita in October. I like the Stones, I like listening to the Stones, but I really have trouble WATCHING the Stones.
Poor Mick looks like he has been embalmed and kept in a mason jar under Funk and Waggonels porch. Keith, well what can ya say?…….let’s just hope he can stay away from any trees that might be lurking in the parking lot at Cessna Stadium.
To those of you old rockers, and young rockers too, that make the trek to see these guys……….have fun and rock on…….and remember “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”. (Maybe tickets for the horse beaters might be appropriate).

I'M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
You know, the next time I see a dirty trash can at the corner of Third and Main Streets, and it drives me to distraction, I’ll grab my bottle of 409 and deal with it. Life is messy, clean it up.

LET THE INSANITY BEGIN
The primary election has come and gone and may the best person win in November. Now is crazy time………when you need to get into the closet and dig out that old rain slicker, because the you know what will surely be flying in abundance this year. It’s almost as much fun as going to see Gallagher.
I hope all of you did vote in the recent primary election. I have a real problem with people who can’t take 15 minutes out of their day and go vote. (Like they are just so, so busy……..gimme a break). I only have one rule about voting………if you don’t…….zip it……I don’t want to hear it, you had your chance and you blew it.

BEST BLOG TO READ ON THE INTERNET
I have some recommendations for those of you who surf the net. Check out http://www.crooksandliars.com/ it is one of my favorites. Another favorite, though it’s not really a blog site, is The Straight Dope…fighting ignorance since 1973 (it’s taking longer than we thought). It is written by Cecil Adams from the Chicago Reader. Cecil is obviously the world’s smartest man, according to Cecil, and he can be read at http://www.straightdope.com/

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 1

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 1 - July 28, 2006

OH WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE
I have recently come to the conclusion that our local newspaper, has in fact, become totally worthless. I don’t know what their problem is, but it seems to me that if they are going to charge a person 75 cents per issue, there had better be something newsworthy in it. I’m not asking for the quality of a New York Times or a Washington Post………..hey, I’m not even asking for the quality of the Pratt or Great Bend papers, but I do expect 75 cents worth each and every week.
The purpose of this little community newsletter is to provoke some thought, some debate and possibly to get some blood flowing through the unused parts of your brain. You don’t have to agree, you don’t have to read it, makes no difference to me, but there are some serious issues that are being bantered around this town that need some cussin and discussin.
I do not intend to publish weekly, I am a busy person who works, I intend to publish when I feel like it, so don’t expect hot off the press like clockwork. I do intend to serve as an alternative to our weekly newspaper and offer discussion and give a slightly different viewpoint to all the hub
bub going on here in town. Things I will print will be totally outrageous………I don’t care, but most will come from a slightly humorous slant, because some of the things that go on here are just plain stupid, funny, redundant and absurd………we all live here and you know what I’m talking about. So in the interest of exercising my first amendment rights…………HERE GOES!!!

THE CARRIE (IT TO FAR) NATION BRIGADE
I am wondering if it is the proper thing for a group of persons to be meeting at the library, which in fact is a part of the school, which is supported by public taxes, (some of them sin taxes too), to be strategizing about the liquor store, a very political issue around here these days? I still say these folks have WAY too much time on their hands.

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
I recently read in the weekly news that there is some concern over what the life guards are wearing when working at the swimming pool…….gawd, I hope they are wearing swimming suits. Once again the morality police are on the loose.

NEVER ON SUNDAY
I see no action has been taken on the issue of Sunday sales by our city council…….I would like an explanation as to why……..a simple answer will do. I don’t want to criticize our city council, for the most part, they do a fine job, the ones that don’t do a fine job……….you know who you are.

IS ANN COULTERGEIST CRAZY OR WHAT........MY ANSWER IS YES
The recent ranting and ravings of Ann, (we’re on a first name basis), have been so bizarre that they defy common sense. First she makes fun of the 9/11 widows, really smart move there, then she says former President Clinton is a hound dog because he’s a latent homosexual. Pssst…..Ann……….homosexual means you are attracted to persons of the same sex, not the opposite sex. I guess Ann missed the classes offered on human sexuality when she was in school. She’s almost as bad as Bill O’Reilly who keeps claiming that US soldiers killed by the Germans during the battle of the Bulge are criminals…….go figure. My advice to dear Ann is to settle
down with, oh say with Rush Limbaugh….I hear he’s looking for wife number three, move to Topeka and join Fred Phelps Westborough Baptist Church. I can almost guarantee that Ann and Rush will be right at home there. I just hope they don’t procreate, in their case it would be most unlikely due to the trouble Mr. Limbaugh seems to be having lately.

HAS THE MAINLINE PRESS FINALLY PULLED THEIR HEADS OUT.....MY DOESN'T FRESH AIR SMELL GOOD?
I have noticed a change of tone in the press on television lately…..they are actually starting to ask some hard questions of their guests. From Chris Matthews to Lou Dobbs, they keep asking those who still support the economic and foreign policy of the Bush administration basic yes and no questions, and they keep getting really stupid answers. Now if you watch Fox News, (I like to call it Faux News), you still are getting stupid questions with equally stupid answers and Bill O’Reilly to boot……….now that’s a deal. I only wish they would ask one question. How long are you going to defend this administration? Just give me the date.

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - June 14, 2006

I swear, nothing can put me to sleep faster than the droning and fumbling of our fearless leader when he talks to the press....it's a sad state of affairs that you have to listen to this to sleep during the day so you can work a 12 hour shift at night. Bush needs to market himself as the next best thing to sominex....it might actually increase his poll numbers.

I wonder if Karl Rove knows that he has become the new O. J. Simpson?.....and I wonder if he will be spending the rest of his life looking for the real leaker?

Open question to the president and both houses of congress: Why do you hate the middle class so much?

Suggestion to Ann Coulter: Rush Limbaugh looking for a new wife...........this could be your chance to settle down, squeeze out a couple of brats, move to Topeka, Kansas and join Westboro Baptist Church with Fred Phelps as your pastor.........you and Rush could be living the good life girl and I'm sure you would both feel right at home. (Please don't actually breed and make more of your kind on second thought, we would eventually have to take the kids away from you and de-program them) Your parents must be so proud of you.