CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE - Issue 5

CRANKY IN THE MIDDLE: OBSERVATIONS FROM ST. JOHN, KANSAS
Volume 1 - Issue 5 - August 29, 2006

OBSESSION…IT’S JUST NOT A FRAGRANCE FROM LIZ TAYLOR……..YOU CAN GET
PROFESSIONAL HELP FOR IT TOO
What’s the anti business attitude here lately? I think somebody has been watching too much of Oprah and her make-over shows……….. and now they are hell bent to make over the town in their own image. You know something?…..if it doesn’t suit you……. move. There are all kinds of silly things that everybody in town doesn’t like………you eventually learn to live with them…..or you don’t.
Being childlike, even when you are an adult can be a good thing. Being childish……that’s altogether a different kettle of fish, and it serves no purpose other than to torment your fellow man and cause them to walk across the street to avoid you when they see you.
The newly formed Citizens for Civic Service or the CCS (chronic constipation syndrome?………..nah), which by the way consisted of 6 cars at their last meeting, is doomed to failure.
Why you ask? Biting ankles gets you nothing but a swift kick to the side of the street like a yappy little dog and the reputation of being a nuisance. If you’re not interested in anything but bugging folks and pestering them….well, I guess your grandma wasn’t as smart as mine…..she always said you could catch more flies with honey than you could with vinegar.
Getting people to run for city council that have the same anti business stance?…..yea, I can see that happening…..………..on Mars perhaps. We need people with common sense…….that are interested in the common good of ALL citizens………not hypocrites.
Eliciting an opinion from the AG?…….well that’s just balderdash. He’s up for reelection………..he hasn’t got time to sweat the small stuff. My chances of winning the powerball jackpot are better.
Pushing the city council?……………is that like when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object? Yuck………I wouldn’t want to be on the crew that cleans up.

“Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.” --- George Bernard Shaw

I’M A CITIZEN, HOW ABOUT MY CONCERNS?
I’ve been seeing a lot of articles in different newspapers and magazines in Kansas about water issues……..methinks there is something up with that, and we should all be paying close attention to who and what are buying up water rights, and for what dastardly purpose they intend to use those rights.

“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
--- Harlan Ellison

“Fundamentalism isn’t about religion. It’s about power.”
--- Salman Rushdie

PASS ME THE DRAMAMINE
I happened to catch the president on TV the other day giving one of his press conferences, which is something I seldom do because of the nausea that usually overwhelms me when he opens his mouth. He was telling a reporter that Iraq had nothing to do with the 9/11 attack’s here in the United States. Gosh………I’ll bet Dick Cheney and Karl Rove are spinning like Helen Keller at a pinata party over those remarks, because Cheney has said, and keeps saying that Iraq is linked to the 9/11 attacks. (Cheney also says a lot of other obtuse things…too many to mention in such a small space).
So, now we have the president, finally owning up to the fact that there were no WMD’s (I’ll bet Cheney had a heart palpitation over that statement too) and that Iraq had nothing to do with the 9/11 attack’s, and the vice president still saying just the opposite………what give’s here?
My guess is that the vice president just isn’t getting enough oxygen to his brain, and that causes severe confusion and a decreased mental status…..somebody slap some O2 on him STAT!!!!!

“Either war is obsolete or men are.”
--- R. Buckminster Fuller

“There’s nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes………….and dead armadillos.
--- Jim Hightower

THE OLD SWITCHEROO
I find it sooooo very interesting that some on the city council are taking such a great interest in ethics, so much so, that I’m inclined to think that it’s just another underhanded, sneaky, convoluted and twist the facts around way of coming in the back door of the liquor store issue. Sorry, I just don’t buy what they are saying……they will just have to change those talking points a bit, because under the bright glare of the high beams, the naked truth of what this is really all about comes shining through.

I’M GONNA MISS PLUTO
The International Astronomical Union that met in Prague last week has finally demoted the planet, formally known as Pluto………uh as a “dwarf” planet. Out of more than 10,000 professional astronomers in the world who were qualified to vote only 424 voted. (Reminds me of election time in the USA.) Pluto, Ceres, and UB313 are now considered “dwarf” planets. Some people want their MTV…….I want my Pluto!!!!

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”
--- Groucho Marx